I feel like all I do lately is complain about Matthew. I am no expert but I think he is just in that stage of defiance (gosh I hope it’s a stage). He is turning in 5 in January and he doesn’t listen. Like at all. Worst part? He’s found his ignore button.

I got a talking to by the crèche teacher yesterday morning moaning about Matthew. About how he doesn’t listen. About how he’s always involved in any naughtiness they catch going on. And it seems like he’s attracting all the other “naughty” children to him as well. She complained to me as if I could do something about it. As if I haven’t been trying to do something about it. Nothing works. I just looked at her and nodded my head, muttered something about how I am trying my best to work with him, and ran away before she saw my tears.

We’ve tried spanking him, time outs, threats, taking things away, putting him to bed. Nothing seems to help. I know he’s just a child and needs my love and attention more than anything else. I have been trying. I am trying not to fall into the mommy guilt about how he’s probably acting out because I’m depriving him of the attention he used to get before Ethan came along. I can’t let him get away with a lot of what he’s doing, yet I don’t also want to stifle him and make him resent me.

His dad banned him from the play area at Spur last night because he doesn’t listen. I don’t think that will work. I told him if he doesn’t start listening, he won’t get a birthday party in January. I don’t think that will work either. I am frustrated, worried, feeling guilty, and trying my hardest to make sure he knows he’s loved no matter what he does.


Please tell me this is a phase and that I’ll get my sweet, loving little boy back soon.

Gosh, parenting is hard.