I did a bad thing last night. I threatened Matthew. And I threatened him with cutting off his penis. Shock! Horror!

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Yes I did. Here’s why.

I was at my dad’s to collect the boys. Matthew was outside playing with Madison (my niece) and her friends. My sister heard him say something as we walked in and asked Madison what it was he said.  Madison says he told her friends that he as a long penis and then pulled down his pants and showed them. Then he said something about his bum and then showed that too.

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I really didn’t know how to react. At first, I was like, he’s going to be one of those men in the long coats that flash people in the roads one day. Then I thought of what I did wrong to make him think that it’s okay to show other people his privates. I mean, I’ve spoken to him before about not letting anyone see his private parts. Then I thought of how I was going to tell his dad and the punishment his dad would think of for him. After all those thoughts ran through my head, I just looked at him, my mouth hanging open and said that we don’t do that and that I was going to tell his dad what happened.

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Fast forward to bathtime. He has this cut on his knee that doesn’t seem to be drying out so I’ve taken to putting some mercurochrome on it. I gather the red liquid and a cotton bud and a scissor to cut off the one end of the bud. I called Matthew and put him up on the kitchen table so he’s higher up and I can see his knee. I am still so shocked about what happened earlier, when he sees the scissors and pipes up “Mommy, are you going to cut off my penis? And I rolled with it. I said yes. I am going to cut it off and put it in a container so that he can show his friends his penis without pulling his pants down. And the mercurochrome was there for the bleeding. Shame. He was so upset when I asked him to take off his pajamas so I could cut it off.

(I don’t have to say that I wouldn’t really cut his penis off right?)

 I then nicely explained to him that I wasn’t going to cut it off (this time) but if I ever hear him showing his privates to anyone, then there would be major consequences. I explained to him that I was very upset but I still loved him. That we don’t ever do what he did and the only time he takes his pants off is when he uses the toilet or gets in the bath.

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Please tell me I won’t go to hell for threatening him the way I did.

How would you have handled the situation? I feel like I made a mountain out of a molehill.

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