When you have a toddler, you know that tantrums are going to be a part of your life for a time. When Matthew started having tantrums, he used to throw himself on the floor and have a silent lie down there. Ethan however, is from a different mould.

Having survived some of his tantrums for a few months now, I think we’ve come up with a “fail-proof” solution.

Scenario 1:

Ethan wakes up, rubs his eyes for 2 seconds and runs to kitchen. He calls for me to follow him and points to the jars of sweets on the counter. Naturally I say no, I mean I’m still seeing the credits of the dream I was having. He moans a bit. I say no again and say he needs to brush his teeth and have breakfast first. Cue tantrum…

Step 1 – Your toddler throws himself onto the cold, hard tiles and starts screaming

Step 2 – Rush to close all windows and doors so the neighbours don’t call social services

Step 3 – Try to ignore the screaming and get some cotton wool for your ears

Step 4 – Go to the kitchen to put on the kettle for that liquid gold called coffee

Step 5 – Ignore the child that is wrapped around your legs

Step 6 – Ask him to please stop screaming

Step 7 – Forget about the coffee while trying to get your child that clammed himself to you off your leg

Step 8 – Forget everything you’ve been trying to do and give him the darn sweet he was asking for

Step 9 – Enjoy the silence for 5 minutes while he watches Paw Patrol and enjoy his sweet. He’s going to ask for another sweet and then we start all over.

Scenario 2:

We’re in the queue in the grocery shop. You know, in that dreaded aisle with all the sweets and chocolates and everything that kids want. Ethan sees something, probably the Kinderjoy that is on full display on the top of the shelf, within arm’s reach of the toddler in the seat of the trolley. He points to it and shouts Dada! Mark says no, because well, because he can. Cue tantrum…

Step 1 – Your toddler pulls himself stiff and risks injuring himself on the trolley.

Step 2 – The groceries are being paid for and you take your now screaming toddler out of the trolley.

Step 3 – Grab your toddler by his arm and half drag him kicking and screaming out of the store. Making sure you don’t make eye contact with the people staring daggers at you.

Step 4 – Get out of the store, put screaming child down and take a 2 minute breather. People are still staring and you’re getting uncomfortable.

Step 5 – Ask child to please stop screaming  or you will leave him there and someone elsecan take him home and deal with his tantrums.

Step 6 – This makes him scream even more, you grab your trolley and threaten to walk away from him if he doesn’t stop.

Step 7 – You walk away, being careful to stay out of his line of sight but keep him in your line of sight (seriously people, this is not easy but there is no way I’m risking someone really taking my child)

Step 8 – He eventually looks for you, stops crying, spots you and runs into your arms.

Step 9 – You explain for the 267th time that his behaviour won’t be tolerated and pray that this time it sticks. You go to the store alone next time.

That’s it for my “fail-proof” solution to tantrums. Do you have any tips and tricks that you use?

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