For much of the day, I forget that I’m pregnant. I mean, really, who forgets that they’re carrying a life beneath their heart? Then I get a little sucker punch from the inside out the blue. And I have to take a moment, stop what I’m doing and just watch. I’ll watch and I’ll watch but do you think this baby will move for me again? Don’t even let me put Mark’s hand on my bump after I’ve gotten 2 or 3 kicks. Immediately the kicking stops and Mark looks at me like I’m imagining things.
I’ve started my 6th month of this pregnancy and the closer we get to our due date, the more anxious I get. I’m mostly worried about the repeat c-section. As disappointed as I was about not getting my vba2c, I thought I had at least come to terms with the doctor’s decision. Yet, I still lie awake at night wondering how I can convince my doctor to at least let me try the vbac. Or where in the Western Cape I can find a gynae or midwife who would be comfortable taking me as a vba2c patient. Oh well, I have 3 more months to get my mind around it.
Prepping the boys
I need to start prepping the boys for the new addition. I’m thinking maybe just trying to remember to get them gifts from the baby and trying out some of The Milk Memoirs’ bucket list items. I have so much guilt when it comes to the boys, about how much time they’re going to miss out on when the baby comes? Will their fighting with each other become unbearable? Will I be able to treat them all equally without having any biases to any of my children? I know these are some silly things to be worried about and that things will work out and in a way where everyone benefits.
The amount of times people ask me about this baby’s sex is unbelievable. I know people are curious and don’t mean any offense but I will say something if anything’s changed since the last time we spoke. Like I see you at work everyday, there’s no need to ask me every Monday if I know yet what I’m having. Then there are the unisex clothing that popular clothing stores have in stock. Seriously? I thought we’d have advanced from yellow and green? I am very partial to reds, blacks, greys and white. Yet, the only places I’ve seen stock these colours (in more than 1 item) are the more expensive stores. Guys, I’m pregnant with our third child, there’s no way I can afford R300+ for a normal grey grower. Help please!
Otherwise, everything is going well with the baby and with myself. Baby is weighing approximately 537g at our last scan and doctor is very happy with him/her. I was so tempted to ask her about the baby’s sex though but fortunately, we got through the appointment without knowing. I’m doing great. I’m still losing a bit of weight every week but nothing that the doctor is worried about. I’m worried about putting the weight back on post pregnancy. Any tips for getting through breastfeeding without stuffing my face every 5 minutes? I still have loads to do in preparation for the hospital and when this baby is here. Like, I’ve not done a single thing or spend a single cent on anything. I guess I need to get my ass into gear with only 3 months left.